Anxiety just makes me want to stab myself in the head.
I hate it so much. and I'm a logical person, I shouldn't be so fircking afraid all the time over stupid things.
Ughh. My aunt had allegedly travelled to Atlanta Georgia, where there were patients being treated for the disease that I am afraid to say the name of...
But I heard that that's where she went, but apparently she went to Michigan too. We live in the south. Michigan is near Canada. How else would she get there aside from plane travel?
DO YOU KNOW HOW FIRCKING TERRIFYING PLANES AND AIRPORTS ARE? MILLIONS OF PEOPLE GO THERE EVERY DAY. HOW UNSANITARY. HHGHGHH.
And our aunt came to our house today. And I'm just so terrified that she contracted the deadly disease, even though it is impossible to spread the disease during its incubation period, when no symptoms are shown. It takes 21 days for the symptoms to start, and during those 21 days, the disease cannot be spread. So it is impossible for my aunt to have gotten anyone sick at this point if she contracted the disease, although it is highly improbable for her to have gotten sick. She's probably just fine and in perfect health. I don't think she's sick. I just can't help worrying so much. And the doctor in New York who apparently has it is now quarantined, but he had come straight from West Africa. Many people argue that travellers should be quarantined during the incubation period of the disease to be sure that they are disease free, although others argue that it is uneccessary due to the fact that it cannot be spread during those 21 days. But think of this- if they travel from Africa and are in America for 22 days, and their symptoms start- who is coming into contact with that person until the CDC arrives? Is it not safer to just contain them until their health has been determined safe? Doesn't that just make more sense? It's not really unethical or unfair to detain someone for 21 days if they might cause an epidemic. I don't think that anyone understands my anxiety at all. I'm not saying that my anxiety is logical, because I know it isn't, I just can't help but question probablity. It's just, "Oh, who cares? It PROBABLY won't end up in our location, and it PROBABLY won't happen." The word "probably" means absolutely nothing to me. I am the type of person who needs a 100% guarantee. I hate not knowing things! It leaves room for questions! So unless someone can prove to me that nothing can happen, I am completely unsatisfied with rationalizing my anxiety! I wish I could just stop worrying about it and accept the facts!
And no matter how many facts I give myself, I just can't stop being stupid and anxious.
And we don't have anymore soap left..
Because I'm an idiot and I wash my hands in steaming hot water until they're red and numb, and I use a crap ton of soap. It's bad for me and I think I'm destroying my hands. No one wants me to wash my hands.
I can't say I blame them, but I really wish I could